|
|||
| Home |
Caryl's Perspective
The Transition Planning project was inspired by the deaths of my
brother, Ted (from AIDS, in August of 1996, five days after his 35th
birthday), and my father, “Denny” (from cancer, in August of 2002, at
the age of 81). Both
transitions, which I had the privilege of witnessing, were profoundly
impressive experiences, invoking in me a desire to learn more about dying
– especially how I could have better helped Dad and Ted through the
dying process. Also the
process of helping my mother reorganize her life – including paperwork,
financial affairs and living arrangements – helped me to understand just
how much I did not know about estate planning and other end-of-life
issues. My
early experiences with the paranormal gave me an open mind about such
subjects as “life after death”; I’ve pursued them along a number of
different paths throughout my life. Particularly
fascinating to me is the so-called “near-death experience”.
Over the years I’ve become acquainted with such notables in the
field as Raymond Moody, Dannion
Brinkley, Mellen-Thomas
Benedict, and P.M.H.
Atwater, as well as many other experiencers and researchers. Ted was my first experience of the death of someone close to me, though, and I was totally unprepared for it. Ted was born when I was eleven; fourteen months earlier my mother had borne twins (Ted was actually conceived as a twin, as was I, but neither his twin nor mine survived till birth. This is known as the Vanishing Twin Phenomenon – more information is available on our other web site). Being the oldest girl still living at home, I became something of a second mother to all the babies; Ted and I were very close. He had terrifying ghostly/paranormal experiences from infancy, and often sought protection from them by scampering into my room late at night and climbing into bed with me. He was a tormented soul – a tale told in our book The Millennium Children: Tales of the Shift. Dad’s
transition process was long, stressful, and exhausting for everyone concerned.
Despite attending Ted’s transition five years previously, I still
hadn’t done any real research into death and dying; I had very little
experience with the ways of the allopathic medical industry and was really
unprepared for what was demanded of me.
I was Dad’s primary caregiver for nine months.
Afflicted with throat cancer in the mid-70’s, he’d undergone a
total laryngectomy, thereafter remaining cancer-free until he was
diagnosed in November of 2001 with squamous cell carcinoma in his nose,
which spread to his face and eventually to his eye and brain.
Three weeks after a 7-hour surgery, he suffered an abdominal aortic
aneurysm, which led to another 8 hours of emergency surgery. (My friend
Carolene Heart, a well-known psychic, “saw” the aneurysm three weeks
before I was able to get a diagnosis out of one of Dad’s doctors –
hence the “emergency” surgery). Amazingly, he survived all that, and
even appeared to be recovering well; however, a follow-up examination
revealed that the cancer had spread, leaving a couple of very unpleasant
treatment options, both of which Dad decided were unacceptable. “I’ve had a full life,” he said.
“I’m done.” He
wanted to die at home, but we were unable to control his extreme pain, so
it was finally agreed that he would enter the Bay Pines V. A. Medical
Center Hospice Unit, with the hope that, after we got the pain under
control, he could return home. That
never happened. The
next eleven days, I can honestly say, changed my life. I’ve
learned a lot about death and dying since my experience with Dad, and am
constantly seeking to learn more. What
follows is the result of my research to date (Summer of 2004), offered in
e-book form so that I can continue to update it as I gain in knowledge.
Rather than “reinvent the wheel”, I provide links to many of
the sources of information that I found (please excuse any unbroken links
as they are unavoidable), offering only a paragraph or two on each
subject, including personal experience and my insights.
I don’t necessarily agree with all the information on the links;
they’re provided to enable the reader to do whatever research and reach
whatever conclusions he or she desires.
Parker has added his cartoons to the mix to help “lighten up”
the subject, since some folks find the subject of death “morbid”.
We
can’t really know what happens when we die until we die, but until then,
we can consider what the “near-death” experiencers report. You’ll find herein, therefore, many references to NDEr’s
reports, insights and experiences. I
believe that exploring the NDE, Nearing-Death Awareness and After-Death
Communication can help us face the fear of death and empower us to make
the many necessary decisions surrounding the inevitable end of our time on
earth. In
the course of doing Intuitive Life Readings over the last decade or so, I
have on occasion contacted departed loved ones for clients, and even
helped a few “go to the Light”. I
hope to develop this ability to telepathically connect with the dying and
those in spirit in order to better aid anyone in need
– whether living or not!
It’s my belief, based on what I’ve learned and what I’ve
experienced via the “sixth sense”, that a necessary part of living
well is to make any day “a good day to die”, to quote Chief Crazy
Horse. I am honored to say that Transition Planning was recognized by the State of Florida Department of Elder Affairs as a "Best Practice 2004".
Parker's
Perspective
The
best way to live, the sages say, is to be ready to die at any second
(without, of course, seeking or desiring to die –
“compassionate detachment”, I think the Buddhists call it)…We’re
also told, by any number and all sorts of spiritual technology
sales-people, that one who achieves such an exalted state – who becomes,
without emotional attachment or aversion, “at one” with his or
her death – also achieves a state known variously as
“Imperturbability” or “Divine Nonchalance” or “Union of Mind and
Heart” or Salvation or Enlightenment or Nirvana or True Freedom, and so
forth, depending on the path one follows. Indeed, one cannot be truly
“ready for the final surprise”, as Steve Miller put it so long ago,
without attaining such a state, because only then can one transcend the
fear with which the ego responds to the idea of its mortality.
It is even asserted by some that the so-called “religious
impulse” originated in the ability to foresee the inevitability of
death. It follows, then, that
if one is equipped with the necessary spiritual resources and has one’s
“affairs” properly in order, there should be nothing frightening about
the dying process, except perhaps for the pain that can accompany it...It
is all, we hear, a matter of preparation and perception – and, I
believe, imagination. I
imagine being dead, for example, as permanent weightlessness, a total
absence of any sense of MASS. Just utter and complete relaxation,
continuous uninterrupted exhalation, an endless sigh of relief…plus,
no Ego to “experience” any of this, to judge it, to find fault or
virtue! I imagine the
complete absence of “Otherness” – of any sense of separation.
Of course, some would argue that there is no “sense” of
anything at all; the majority of the modern scientific community, as far
as I know, is still of the opinion – due to an ostensible lack of good
evidence to the contrary – that precisely nothing, in terms of consciousness,
“happens” after the physical body expires.
Other folks, and certainly all religions of which I’m aware, are
pretty much convinced that some aspect of existence – the soul,
the spirit, the astral and/or etheric bodies, even mere tendencies of
behavior – somehow makes its way along the spiral of life and/or
sentience to reappear elsewhere, or to at least exert some kind of
influence. There is, in other words, that which abides, beyond that which
merely recycles. I think
that’s probably true, but I also feel that it’s only true if it’s
vividly imagined – that is, believed...Which leads naturally to
the question, “Is there an Ultimate, All-Encompassing, Unimaginable
Imagination, from which all mortal imagining proceeds?”
Stephen Hawking says the Universe doesn’t require it, but do we?
And if so, why? What ancient genetic or tribal or cosmic programs are running
here? Over the ages, millions of words have been written and spoken in answer to these and all the other questions related to the process of dying, the shift we call “Death”. Herewith, we offer you some of those words – some perhaps familiar to you, some not…They are words of advice, comfort, inspiration – words that have helped Caryl and me through some difficult times, as perhaps they have helped you. It is my wish that these words will enable in your life – as they have enabled in mine – experiences that are easily beyond words.
Copyright © 2004 Rainbows Unlimited |
||
